


On Being Broken

by shadowNova



Category: Original Work
Genre: Nonfiction, article, rant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowNova/pseuds/shadowNova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You ignore us. You assume we want it, or else, -surely-, we'd say no. Surely we'd stand up for ourselves.<br/>Let me show you -just how wrong- you are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Being Broken

I am a broken girl. I've known this for four years. And no, I'm not the only one broken the way I am.

You see us all the time. On Champions, going along with any roleplay thrown our way. On Guild Wars, allowing rape roleplay with our characters. You saw us on City of Heroes, never speaking up. The same pattern, in all the games. On forums, as well. On Skype. Everywhere.

You look at us- and you assume we are perverts. That we are attention whores. That we enjoy rape roleplay. That we -want- this. More than that- you say this to us, to our face. And then, before we get a chance to refute it- you block us. You put us on ignore, and leave behind the damage to our already fragile psyche.

Our friends have to watch us crumple. They try to help- but we are so scared, so broken, and we blame ourselves and we don't -have- the words we need to explain WHY.

Until, we do. Until someone, another victim- another SURVIVOR- comes across us, and hears what those around us tell us. Then, that survivor strts talking. Explaining. Telling us no- we're not freaks, we're not crazy, that this is NORMAL, that our inability to say no is a left over. And then, -then- we have the words.

Inability? Yes. That is exactly what it is. It's a mental block- we won't say no on our own, we're too afraid of what that brings, it's too ingrained in us to OBEY, because the happiness of those around us is SO MUCH more important than our own. And on the occasion that we are given a CHANCE to say no- we still can't. We panic. We freeze up.

"But it's just a game," you say. "You can always turn it off!" And maybe, maybe that's true for others, for those who are -whole-. But we aren't. We're broken, alone, and terrified. We're crying for help, in a world gone mad, but no one can HEAR us. Worse- no one cares. But- we CAN'T turn it off. To us, our happiness means nothing. And so we are shunned, after it's over, greeted with harsh words as former friends -abandon- us. And those who don't, they can't help us, bocause thy haven't been here.

We are the abused, the broken. And you blame us, and I am -tired- of it. Of being told that it's my fault that I am broken. That abuse in long distance relationships isn't a thing.That people like me are WEAK. That we go along because it's what w want, when in reality, we've forgotten that we're allowed to say 'no'.

Feel free to KEEP your assumptions, assholes. But don't break us further with them. The next time you see someone, male or female, who acts like this- how about you ASK why they go along with it, rather than putting them down?

You just might be the only one who does.


End file.
